Talking to my bff this morning and I realized something……this MIGHT come as a shocker to some of you but. We women are crazy as hell…..we put ourselves in these stupid dumb ass situations knowing damn well they’re stupid dumb ass situations and we choose to ignore it, thinking we can change someone. It’s hard enough trying to change yourself let alone someone else. And then we react in thee most insane ways when in all actuality our stupid asses knew better. Only crazies do stuff like that.

Been thinking a lot about decisions and choices we make. The severity of the conscious actions we choose or not choose to do and the effect after the cause. I believe that when we’re born, there’s this pre-destined path laid out for us that leads to a blissfully happy and fufilling life. But with the choices we make we can get thrown off course and end up on the wrong path of hurt, pain and uninspiredness. All because our choices matter and we don’t take them serious enough at the time or get blindsided by emotion. One wrong move and that path to a sucessful life disappears. I can be pretty serious sometimes but I do believe all of that. I don’t believe we’re suppose to be unhappy though, that’s not part of the plan. And not that we can’t grow from pain and hurt because those can be the compasses to get us back on track. I’m a fairly optimistic person so I know you can find your way back.

I’ve been veering off course for five years but I’m determined to find my way back to my destined path. I’ve learned so much about myself this past year, so to get back on my path of happiness I am planning to:

1.) Believe in my dreams again. To overcome my jaded attitude and get back to thinking with innocence.

2.) Quit dwelling in dark places and spaces….when a moment comes and I don’t like the way I’m being treated or where my mind leads me, I am going to speak up and not let negativity linger.

3.) Know my worth.

4.) I now know that the world is not perfect and I can’t live in my dreamworld but it doesn’t mean that I can try my hardest to get my world as close to my dreams as possible.

5.) Always remember, to just be happy. I’m breathing so as long as that’s true, I can always change what I don’t like about it. So…… just.be.happy.

“Be the change you want to see in the world”

bshepjr:

this is me 200%

It’s nothing but unfulfilled aggression that brings the pain in my presence. Laying with tranquility and the calm has masked the true feelings of depression. Alone in your thoughts and surroundings, solitary is your therapy, your medicine.

The thinking mind has so many thoughts. A sleepless night will be sought. So many questions that I wish I had the answers, and with every blink of a tired eye I’ll realize nothing matters.

Lost in the empty of nothingness, sucked into the pit of darkness. The fight to escape has been abandoned and contentment takes it’s place. Invisible to everyone except the emotionally detached eyes in the mirror…a beautiful façade is the reflection.